A good song to describe our time in Kalkan would be Queen's immortal masterpiece - a song in which they really came into their own, both creatively and artistically - the lovely "Don't Stop Me Now." I say this not only because it sort of summed up the great times we were having, but also because we played it all the time.
Along with Celine Dion's epic ballad, "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." In fact, I had the dubious pleasure of being serenaded by the... not unharmonious... duet of Asher and Kate - on bent knee, nonetheless - one fine November morn during flongers.
Flongers, as you have no right to ask, is a noun soon to be included in Webster's dictionary, to be defined as "a meal of above average size, quality, and length; an epic repast.
Usage: Boy, those deviled eggs at flongers sure did taste good!" We made sure to indulge in at least one flongers on the balcony every day.
Ah yes, the balcony. I should probably back up and explain our situation to those of you who aren't myself, Kate, or Asher. We stayed at a timeshare generously arranged by my grandparents and my aunt Marsha. The place, Club Kalkan, was pretty nice, but would have been much nicer if everything wasn't shut down. It was fine - just weird. There were about six pools on the property but only one was open... and that one was choked with leaves and half full.
Plus, the staff could be a little pissy, especially when I didn't have absolutely EXACT change when we checked out as Sunday - the day EVERYONE with a timeshare checks out - is for some reason supposedly their cashier's day off so he couldn't break a 50 lira note for the 27 lira energy charge and instead could only give me back 21 lira and 10 euro cents and glared at me, huffing, the whole time. But the weirder stuff was how they never turned on the lights anywhere outside or, in fact, in the lobby, which was the only place you could get WiFi. So we had to either track the guy down or sneak behind the desk to flip the switch ourselves.
But at least we had the place to ourselves. Kate and I actually had it all to ourselves the first night, but Asher came by on our second day there, partly because it was my birthday. We didn't do anything too
much as the town was completely closed down, but we did go to dinner at Deniz down by the water in the main town and ate flamingo. Seriously. And it was delicious. And happens to be the name of a local fish.
We didn't go into town every day as we had everything we really needed at the place... except for food and beer, of course. So we had to make a few runs into town to stock up, including one which ended with us coming back at night, walking into the face of a truly jaw-dropping lightening storm. It was like watching two opposing armies line up on either side of the Kalkan bay;
one side was the old wizard, perched atop Frog Mountain, whilst the other side was the young upstart come to challenge his master. The young upstart threw out tons of lightening, really flashy stuff that streaked the sky, while the old wizard had to build up his energy... but when he released his might, it was in thick, straight bolts of raw power that split the sky in two. Awesomeness.
Most of the time, however, it was beautiful weather so we spent the days at the beach. Or rather, the platform on the water as there was no sand beach there. Here was a perfect example of the good and bad of having an entire resort to yourselves:
the upside is we never had to worry about having the choicest spots, but the downside was that we weren't allowed to take our room towels to the beach and we had to wait about 15 minutes every day for someone to appear to give us beach towels. So strange.
Anyway, the beach. We chose the spot by the secluded cove, which also included a little rock outcropping nearby to which we could swim and proceed to mount and either
a) drink and sunbathe atop of, or b) use as a stage for reenactments of Battlefield Earth ("While you were still learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME...").
We also did a bunch of jumping off the platform while posing in various creative ways, but once that got boring, we moved to jumping off the cliff into shallow water as we figured it would add a much-needed sense of danger to our childish exploits.
Asher was the brave one to take the leap, as it were, and I followed a couple times, but Kate wussed out. What a wuss. Though I will admit that I needed Asher to sing "Don't Stop Me Now" to psych me up for the second jump.
We originally had some grand plans to explore a bit more of the area, but those fell by the wayside once we got into the daily rhythm of flongers and thawanyo (Def. 1: adj. Spicy, like the Congolese nights. Usage: "Mmm, that night in Congo sure was thawanyo!" Def. 2: noun. Fictional university.
Usage: First I got my bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering and now I am a professor at the University of Thawanyo."). Thus, the sad day came when we were forced to part, each of us going our separate ways... but bonded by a friendship stronger than the steel rebar that runs through the concrete of our lives as we leap together into the great unknown. Or something.
Along with Celine Dion's epic ballad, "It's All Coming Back to Me Now." In fact, I had the dubious pleasure of being serenaded by the... not unharmonious... duet of Asher and Kate - on bent knee, nonetheless - one fine November morn during flongers.Flongers, as you have no right to ask, is a noun soon to be included in Webster's dictionary, to be defined as "a meal of above average size, quality, and length; an epic repast.
Usage: Boy, those deviled eggs at flongers sure did taste good!" We made sure to indulge in at least one flongers on the balcony every day.Ah yes, the balcony. I should probably back up and explain our situation to those of you who aren't myself, Kate, or Asher. We stayed at a timeshare generously arranged by my grandparents and my aunt Marsha. The place, Club Kalkan, was pretty nice, but would have been much nicer if everything wasn't shut down. It was fine - just weird. There were about six pools on the property but only one was open... and that one was choked with leaves and half full.
Plus, the staff could be a little pissy, especially when I didn't have absolutely EXACT change when we checked out as Sunday - the day EVERYONE with a timeshare checks out - is for some reason supposedly their cashier's day off so he couldn't break a 50 lira note for the 27 lira energy charge and instead could only give me back 21 lira and 10 euro cents and glared at me, huffing, the whole time. But the weirder stuff was how they never turned on the lights anywhere outside or, in fact, in the lobby, which was the only place you could get WiFi. So we had to either track the guy down or sneak behind the desk to flip the switch ourselves.But at least we had the place to ourselves. Kate and I actually had it all to ourselves the first night, but Asher came by on our second day there, partly because it was my birthday. We didn't do anything too
much as the town was completely closed down, but we did go to dinner at Deniz down by the water in the main town and ate flamingo. Seriously. And it was delicious. And happens to be the name of a local fish. We didn't go into town every day as we had everything we really needed at the place... except for food and beer, of course. So we had to make a few runs into town to stock up, including one which ended with us coming back at night, walking into the face of a truly jaw-dropping lightening storm. It was like watching two opposing armies line up on either side of the Kalkan bay;
one side was the old wizard, perched atop Frog Mountain, whilst the other side was the young upstart come to challenge his master. The young upstart threw out tons of lightening, really flashy stuff that streaked the sky, while the old wizard had to build up his energy... but when he released his might, it was in thick, straight bolts of raw power that split the sky in two. Awesomeness.Most of the time, however, it was beautiful weather so we spent the days at the beach. Or rather, the platform on the water as there was no sand beach there. Here was a perfect example of the good and bad of having an entire resort to yourselves:
the upside is we never had to worry about having the choicest spots, but the downside was that we weren't allowed to take our room towels to the beach and we had to wait about 15 minutes every day for someone to appear to give us beach towels. So strange.Anyway, the beach. We chose the spot by the secluded cove, which also included a little rock outcropping nearby to which we could swim and proceed to mount and either
a) drink and sunbathe atop of, or b) use as a stage for reenactments of Battlefield Earth ("While you were still learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME...").We also did a bunch of jumping off the platform while posing in various creative ways, but once that got boring, we moved to jumping off the cliff into shallow water as we figured it would add a much-needed sense of danger to our childish exploits.
Asher was the brave one to take the leap, as it were, and I followed a couple times, but Kate wussed out. What a wuss. Though I will admit that I needed Asher to sing "Don't Stop Me Now" to psych me up for the second jump.We originally had some grand plans to explore a bit more of the area, but those fell by the wayside once we got into the daily rhythm of flongers and thawanyo (Def. 1: adj. Spicy, like the Congolese nights. Usage: "Mmm, that night in Congo sure was thawanyo!" Def. 2: noun. Fictional university.
Usage: First I got my bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering and now I am a professor at the University of Thawanyo."). Thus, the sad day came when we were forced to part, each of us going our separate ways... but bonded by a friendship stronger than the steel rebar that runs through the concrete of our lives as we leap together into the great unknown. Or something.
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